Communication Dynamics with people in crisis

Recognizing that there are subtle ways to help put individuals in the place to hear and process challenging information will dramatically increase the effectiveness of the FLO.

Location 

Wherever a family or friends group is physically contacted initially will probably be the point they return to subsequently when they are seeking additional information. So think ahead about the potential venues that will maintain sufficient insulation from operations and be a secure reliable base for them to use. 

Critically the location should function as an effective place to receive and ask for information, not a place that is necessarily comfortable and cozy! There is a need to split the use of space around functionality – otherwise the effectiveness of the FLO’s communications will be reduced. If a family has to remove food off a table, move a sleeping child out of a chair or fight against the background sound of a TV this is not a setup for success. 

Look for a room that has clear access to restrooms, drinking water and is easy to find. Ideally the room should have WiFi and the option to project/connect to a large screen to discuss details of search patterns or locations. 

The room should be able to maintain a high degree of privacy and should not be easy to have outside distractions filter in - blinds on the windows, solid door, soundproof.  

Avoid rooms that have high public traffic associated with it or require access through operational zones. Operational areas offer opportunities for distraction or uncontrolled exposure to field communications.

Sitting 

Many agency or organizational meeting spaces have a large table and office chairs spread evenly around. A break room has the immediate access to drinking water and restrooms; it may offer a range of sitting options. 

Look to seat the family/friends first in the room and try to avoid situations that find the FLO to be physically opposite and separated from the group. Placing a table between the FLO and the group sets up an instant physical barrier that has perceptual impacts the FLO then has to breakdown in order to build trust.

By sitting next to a family member it changes the atmosphere and promotes a clearer communication style. The family member is in a position to see the FLO’s notes as they are written – modeling that there is nothing to hide. 

Emotionally it places the FLO in a proximal position to offer a hand of support in an immediate physical response, instead of sitting uncomfortably across a divide.

Written Notes

There are a number of ways to show engagement with the family and handwritten notes are a good example. 

By offering handwritten duplicated notes at a meeting the bonds of trust are intimately deepened. Cross referencing the notes on return, particularly to posed questions and then, physically checking off the responses together, demonstrates shared accountability. 

Emotion 

Much of the FLO interactions with a family/friends group have an intuitive element  at the heart of the response. For a group mourning or struggling to deal with the impacts of loss the FLO does not need to be emotionally detached – they do need to be managing their own emotions, but not denying them.

In the early moments of the shittiest day ever the group needs to see that while FLO may not feel the depth of emotion they are enduring, the FLO does recognize it and has no judgment attached as they play witness to the family’s grieving process. It is acceptable for the FLO to feel tears well, struggle to complete the sentence and hold someone’s hand. By these small gestures the FLO legitimizes the families confusion and helps acknowledge their loss.

But then as the FLO you need to collect yourself emotionally and start to move the process and family, forward.

As the FLO there is a significant amount of emotion that may be focused directly at you as a representative of the Incident Command – this could be vitriolic, profane, and disturbing. Through it all the FLO is required to be objective, document developments and seek to maintain and improve communications with distressed individuals and groups. 

If any FLO becomes a target for a family/friends the Incident Commander should be made aware of the situation and consider substituting a new FLO in their place or foregoing the position and taking the assignment on their shoulders.